It's been a whole year

Like the title says, it's been a whole year since i last updated my blog. Maybe because i was so lazy to post up anything before, and mind you, i actually did thought of deleting this blog. It felt useless for me to have one that i don't update much. But i know i'll miss it badly. It's somehow my only memory of my past. I had a new laptop this year, that means i left one piece of my memory behind, i had a new phone and that makes two already. I lost my hard disk that Ezu got me two years back, and i left all the hardcore fun things in life behind to move forward.

I was never a fan of chemical substance, and everyone who knew me well, should know that when it comes to that part, i'm clean. Never have, never will, god's willing. I have finally changed for the better. Well, even Rome wasn't built in a day true? Baby steps mon chéri, baby steps. It's such a huge lie to say that i don't miss my past life, not that i died or anything, but yes, i do miss the old way of life i use to have. I miss the dressing ups, i miss the craziness, i miss the hangovers, i miss the place selections, i miss the booze, i miss the games, yes, i miss everything about it. If you ask me now, i never regret going through that phase in life, i never will. It has taught me so much. It made me into who i am today.

You know when people say sometimes the days you're gonna go thru imitates the ones you have seen on TV, well, what if it's the other way around? That would be cool don't you think? What if what's happening in your life now is not all candies and rainbows? That would suck. Sometimes i wish i was far far away where no one knows me and would never harm me. Sometimes i wish that you would've came sooner. Sometimes i wish that you were him instead. But i know one thing is for sure, most of the time, i'm thankful that i always have someone to rely on. Through thick and thin, joyrides and accidents, i know i can always count on you.

Have you ever wondered how is it to love someone unconditionally? Guess what, lemme tell you something, THAT'S BULLSHIT! There will always, always be something that you would want in return. I know what i want, i want you to understand me without me even saying a word. I want you to be able to look at me and know what i want, what i need. I just wanna be over and done with this year. I want to move forward, i want to be yours for real. Not just like this. I WANT TO BE YOURS! 8-)

Hopefully this is not my last post of the century (exaggerating a little there)..

Until next time,

MKate

You know i'm one of a kind, there'll never be another me

Can't get me out of your mind?

You're lost in your own fantasy!

And when you look in my eyes

Is it hard for you to realize?

She'll never be me!

I've been off the grid lately. Hardly update my blog at all. I know i know I've been neglecting it like hell. Poor bloggy. It's okay love, i'll update you on a daily basis soon enough. Semester is almost over. This semester is not as good as before. I prefer last semester more.

It's the 3 years anniversary last September. It was awesome. Not magical but I'm not complaining. I miss Ezuan a lot nowadays. Kinda wish for him to be next to me 24/7, 365.

Speaking of which, Ezu told me about one of his friend, he dislikes her a lot and i wish so much to meet her so i can tell her off to her face. Mess with my fiancée, i'll hunt you down to the ground woman and i swear you'll wish you were never born.

Oh well, that's it for now i guess.

Baby baby baby ooo...

I MISS YOU!

Here I Am Again

It's been so long since i updated my blog. It's been a very busy semester and i just didn't feel any need to blog before. But today I think I just wanna let it out eh.

I just don't feel like myself anymore. I'm actually doing work, which is a good thing. But... ntah la. Kan easy if i don't have a heart. Then i'd just feel numb. Senang kecil hati already now? Weird kan. OMG...

Drama Production editing going on.

till next time,

Mea

We're not the same, like we use to be..

Current Song : The Ice is Getting Thinner
(By Death Cab For Cutie)

Sometimes when i think about it, TV drama is just meant for TV ain't it? Whatever happens on Gossip Girl, stays on Gossip Girl. It doesn't happen to us? Does it? Well, the drama, maybe, but dude, they're filthy rich. Makes me sad.. =(

I run out of ideas on what to blog nowadays. Until next time..

the One and Only,
Mea
xoxo

From the moment that i saw your face and felt the fire in your sweet embrace...

I know most people says that sparks fade in time. You're in love today, and tomorrow but not the day after. I feel like a little kid when it comes to feeling all giddy and up in the air. I think it's because God looked down to me and reminded me of the purpose of living, and how to live a peaceful life. Honestly, i've got everything i ever wanted. Everything. There's not even 1 wants or needs in my life that is not fulfilled. And i learned something that made my life a better place, forgiveness. Forgive and forget. And yes, i choose to forgive and forget everything in the past. The good memories i treasure, the bad ones, i learn from them. The most important thing is i forgive everyone who has ever wronged me in the past and move forward. Don't get me wrong, please. I'm not specifying and pointing fingers. I'm not saying out names. I'm not doing all that. It's not what you think. Seriously, i am just stating this as how i feel. I don't hate any of you. Hatred can only bring you this far. Forgiveness has no boundaries. Sky is the limit. I just wanna live in peace and serenity. This is the year i choose to start over. Open up a new chapter in my book of life.

Raula, Hillie, Nadea, Jay, Anum, Dya, Efa, Abby and Fiz..

The 9 of you mean so much to me. You have been there, touched my life, and influences it in so many levels. Thru thick and thin. Raula and Efa, you were there for me when i had to go through with my father's wedding. Hillie, Nadea, Abby, Fiz and Jay, need i say more about the 5 of you? We went through everything, ups and dows, lefts and rights($%^%##????), and still, here we are. It's bullshit to say that friends don't argue, they do, but they always have a way back to each other. Anum and Dya, you were there for me since Kolej. If i didn't say this enough, Thank you, i appreciate everything.

I always felt like happiness and happy endings are meant for fairy tales only. That it doesn't exist in real life. But i have learned that it is not something you wait to fall in place, it's something that you have to work for to earn it. If you have worked hard enough and practise all the good values that you were taught of, if you deserve it, that God will reward you with a fairytale ending.

I am in love, very in love. In love with everything. My friends, my life, my parents, my family, My one and only God, and to Him i shall thank for giving me the opportunity to know Idzuan Ismail.

the One and Only,
xoxo

And one day my little girl, will reach out her hand, She'll know i found The Right Man!

Current song : The Right Man by Christina Aguilera
(Something i got from Hillie's blog, and maybe i should start using this also, if you don't mind love.)

And i am now at the office. Boring. Missing the Boyfriend so much (i think now i need to start to find a new nickname for him, considering he might not be my boyfriend for long, and soon i'll be engaged. the Fiancee will sound too tacky. I need a dictionary!). I'm feeling happy, joyful, blessed and content. Very calm and peaceful. It's a good feeling to feel for new years. First post of the year yo! Now i should think of a new ending for my blog posts as well. Cherrio, xoxo is soooooo last year. I'm glad that one of my favourite song influenced my friends. The Right Man by Christina Aguilera is a very nice song. Hillie likes it now. =D

I'm taking up her request on posting up my Top 10 Sexiest Man On Earth list. =P

No. 10 : Kellan Lutz

No. 9 : Josh Duhamel

No. 8 : Paul Walker

No. 7 : Ryan Reynolds

No. 6 : Taylor Lautner

No. 5 : Ben Barnes

No. 4 : Chace Crawford

No. 3 : Justin Timberlake

No. 2 : Chris Evans

No. 1

And there you go, My list of my very own top 10 Sexiest Man On Earth. Some people will be like "urgh, duh` of course..." when seeing this i bet. *giggles* May the rest of the year be an awesome one! Good luck people!!!

the One and Only,
xoxo

Hell hath no FURY like a woman scorned!!!

" Heaven has no Rage, like Love to Hatred turned,
NOR HELL A FURY, LIKE A WOMAN SCORNED!
- Willian Congreve 1697 "

And Honey,

High Heels can kill!

You know you love me,
xoxo

Keep the blessings to a maximum!

Everything has been good these days. Except the fact that a bad thing had to happen in order for the good things to happen, but yea. I'm so happy! =)

• I had cheetos for breakfast.
• Man United won, leading on the group followed by CSKA Moscow.
• Liverpool dropped to the Europa League.
• I finally got what i want now.
• The boyfriend woke me up and made my day.
• I came to work so damn early and not late anymore.
• I'm online at work.
• Papa's in a good mood and i'm missing him so bad.
• I'm just so happy!

So yea.. everything happens for a reason, I just hope this is my right path. =)

Cherrio, xoxo

You're my no 1.

I've been off radar for a while now. I was sick and had a terrible sore throat. Too much to handle at one point. I was onlining for a while just now and i went thru Baby Love's friendster messages and i found the message i sent him 2 years back!

dun mind u ignore ba.. hehe.. im not important anyways. eh. chup.. wht sub u repeat again?
IdZuAn wrote:
> yeah true also i do act like that..sorry if i ignore u..
>
> M e a wrote:
> > betul la u dun eat people.. but then again.. u never talk to me bah.. u just look at me then u say hi. itu pun if u rajin then u tegur. haha..
> >
> >
> > IdZuAn wrote:
> > > apa juga mau d takut...i don eat people hahaha....
> > >
> > > M e a wrote:
> > > > owkie.. been seeing u around kan.. nak tego pun mcm takut2 bah.. haha..
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > IdZuAn wrote:
> > > > > hey mea..ya repeat lg tiga unit..of course we can be friends..
> > > > >
> > > > > M e a wrote:
> > > > > > hey idzuan. been seeing u around. jap. u foundation engineering ka? repeat paper? heh.. just wondering if we could be friends

Hahahaha.. It's just funny reminiscing how we got to be friends. But at least we have a funny story to tell our kids later on. "How i met your mother" It's gonna be hilarious. It's weird that i actually befriend my boyfriend before we get together. I normally just jump into a realtionship, but being with Ezuan is everything i can ever ask for. I'm blessed to say, i'm in love with my bestfriend. And spending all the time i can for and with him but still have time for my friends, it's miraculous. I guess i'm just lucky. =)

Van was talking to Dinesh about Godfathers while i was watching America's Next Top Model on Youtube. They called me off and ask me a question. "Mea, would you introduce your kids to Dinesh?" and i answered "No man, i teach my kid to bully Jega first then intro them!" and then Van said "You should make Jega their Godfather, then when they have money problem they'll ask Jega, not you!" hahahahaha.. True. But my kids will be screwed up if they know Jega too early. Still, loves him loads, you know i do Jega!

I don't know what else to write here and i'm very very tired. Until next time.

Cherrio, XOXO

The second star to the right...

I just woke up and it's 10++pm. MY GOODNESS! Now i know why we were not suppose to sleep during Maghrib! I was having a nightmare so bad man! Seriously. It was so bad that i do not want to remember it. So hard to forget. Then i felt better after reading a note Abby left me on facebook. You made my evening. Thanks Bee! Loves.

I miss home. Miss You Loooot!! You know i do. Hehehe..

Cherrio, XOXO

Ever since the day you went away and left me lonely and cold, my life just hasn't been the same. Oh baby no..

When I looked into your eyes the moment that I let you go, I just broke down

Today i woke up at 9 and thought it was still early, so i cuddled back into my blankie, and told myself just another half hour. The next thing i know, Van was knocking on my door, saying that my group mates are here. SMART? Hm.. I was exhausted from the charades game played last night and sleeping at 3am. It was fun you know. The charades game thingy. I was in Godwin's group, with Fyza, Baby Love and Jamie. Against Van, Abby, Danny, Dinesh and Karibi. Jorden was the judge. It was so fun!!! We won! so yea..

Baby if I ever get the chance to be with you again I would sacrifice 'cuz the feeling that I feel within no other man would ever make me feel so right. Its nice to smile when I get your phone call at night but I'd rather have you here with me, right next to me. I miss the way you hold me tight

I cooked today as usual.. Lemon Chicken, Veggie and CornBeef.. I was so hungry from not eating the whole day. And i played rugby late afternoon. Just to jog around. I miss having Fariq, Hoe and Azfar playing touch with us. Those three guys are like masters when playing. All the seniors, who's left now is Gala.. That's about it. Well, there are Cendol, Baby Love, Koyot, Karibi. But still, it's not the same. So yea.. Miss them boys.

Okay now i feel like the post is just useless and there's nothing to write about. Hahahaha..

Until next time.

Cherrio, XOXO