I know you're gone, you said you're gone but i can still feel you're here.

Condolences to the CM's family for their loss. May Datuk Amar Puan Sri Hajah Laila Taib's soul rests in peace. Datuk Amar laila, 68, battled cancer for the past three months and celebrated their 50th Wedding Anniversary three months back at the new Four Points Hotel. She is known as Sarawak's first lady and a very lovely and generous person. You will always be in our prayers.

Look for the rainbow in every star
Find out for certain, love is gonna be there for you
You'll always be someone's baby..

xoxo

Full Review of the champions league game, first leg ; Manchester United vs Arsenal

The previous post was very very brief due to the mobile wi-fi usage. It was slow and very very inconvenient. Okay back to the game. OMG!!!!!!!!

I was restless most of the time. I was very nervous, as much as i have faith in my boys playing but still, it's a football game, anything can happen!!! So yea, i was analyzing the match so much that i thought i'd do better as an ESPN reporter than an accounting student. HEHE.. The first 11 was the usual ones.

1. 1 Van der Sar
2. 5 Rio Ferdinand(C) - sub(23. Evans)
3. 15 Vidic
4. 22 O'Shea
5. 3 Evra
6. 8 Anderson - sub (11. Giggs)(C)
7. 16 Carrick
8. 24 Fletcher
9. 7 Ronaldo
10. 10 Rooney
11. 32 Tevez - sub (9. Berbatov)

I was a little bit disappointed that Rafael did not play the match but still, it's okay. GIGGS PLAYED HIS 800th GAME!!! And he scored!(Of course it wasn't counted due to offside! AARGHHHH!!! Stupid Lines Man!) The legend man. And i would like to agree with the supporters.

I, here by, petition for Manchester United legend to be Knighted! Sir Ryan Giggs.

The first half was AWESOME! O'Shea, of all people, scored! Nice chip by Tevez. The game was intense! Although the Red Devils won, the man of the match, i humbly give to Almunia. He was very on form. He did his very best to save all shots. 6 shots out of 7, on target, was saved. Hands down! Van der Sar on the other hand had not much to save. He was relaxing 60% of the time. I was hoping Van Persie would play, but NOOOOOOOOOO.. =(

Oh well, guess we'll be seeing Chelsea in the Finals. Although i do want Barcelona to win, but highly unlikely. Still hoping tho. Thanks to Abby for acknowledging that Arsenal sucks. *winks*

I'll sleep very happily tonight. *smiles*

Cherrio, XOXO

First half review of the semi final game, champions league

OMG!!!!!! Awesome! Mr Utility man scored! I did not expect him to score but yea!!! OMG!!! I wish anderson would score tho!! We'll see what happen second half!!!

Velvet is the new Silk, Violet is the new Pink.

Me lovey Me Dearest Daddy!!! I was just trying my luck asking for a new perfume to add up to my collection. Wasn't really hoping for it. Thought Papa would just ignore my wants.

SEE SEE!!!

That's what was in the plastic bag together with my Twiggies and Nougats! OMG!! ME LOVESIT!


The advert is just sooooooooooooooooo invigorating.

I just can't wait to go back home and spend more time with my dad and my sister. He means the world to me. =) Papa spoils me like a little princess and i love it. I don't care whatever people say about me, all i know is i admit i am a princess and i'm my dad's princess. No one else's. =)

Cherrio, XOXO

Throw your hands up now and let the music take control. This is how we roll, i'm not too young and i'm not too old.

I actually woke up for class today. Like literally in the morning, not just a speech figure. Got up at 6.30am, linger around for an hour and prepared for class at 7.30am. Reach classroom at 8.05am. Wow!!! Hehehe.. See! Nothing is impossible. So yea, i settled my disputes with the management regarding the sanctions already. Relieved. I suddenly thought of my late mom and how she manages so much hustles in her life at one time. Manage the household, run a furniture manufacturing company, operates a gift shop, became an agent for Cosway and yet still have time for me and my dad. She's one super woman. I don't know how she divides her time and i'm very impressed. The thing was, everything went so well when she was around. Everything was very organized. When she passed away, everything went downhill because there was no successor. Even in a large number of family member divided to take care on only one at a time, it was no match to how my mom did. People would say it's typical for daughters to want to be like their mothers', but yea, i would LOVE to be like my mom. As a matter of fact, i'm on the way there. The field that i am in, was once hers. My actions might not show that i think of her, people might judge that i do not love my late mom, but i really do, deep down inside. Who in this world do not love their mom? It's just stupid and hopeless of them. I would trade anything in this world for her to be in my life again. That's why when i hear random people disliking their parents due to how they are treated by the parents (very protective, always moody and angry), i imagine myself in their place, where most of the time, i would tear up thinking how much i miss having the situation happening on me. All i have now is Papa and my stepmom. It's not the same. I always wish things was still like before, when i was 11. =) Life was perfect back then. The best father ever and the no.1 mom. Guess that's one thing i'll never have, a perfect family. Mind you, my dad is still the best dad in the whole wide world. Regardless anything people might say about him, HE IS THE BEST and my friends would know. =) He cares not only for me, but my friends as well. He treats my friends as his own daughter as well. Van, Raula, Dira, Effa.. You would know would you "Kak Van"? Hehehehe.. I'm not saying my stepmom is a bad stepmom, it just takes time to getting use to. That's all.

I'm having Accounting 101 mid-term this saturday, and i've studied like 10% of it only.

To Raula,
GOOD LUCK LAW EXAM!!!

I seriously can't wait to get back home. Can't wait!!!

Cherrio, XOXO

We're the famous Man United and we're going to Wembley!

Follow up to my previous post, these are the players i have faith in and who i think are very good and valuable players.

The new HAWT and very skillful right back player, Rafael Pereira Da Silva. Don't Confuse him with his twin brother Fabio P.D. Silva. *winks*

Darren Fletcher, wasn't keen of him at first, but he proved me wrong twice. One of the midfielders we have.

Wayne "The Man" Rooney (a nickname we gave him) is so far among the best strikers i've seen (observing the new season) and he's only 24 years old!!!

Micheal Carrick played for Man Utd since 2006, playing the midfielder.

Another midfielder, Anderson Luis de Abreu Oliveira, well known as only Anderson hasn't scored any goals ever since his debut on 2007/2008 season but still, his ball control and passing is "CUN!"

"The Utility Man" Mr John O'Shea plays defender or midfielder, joins Man Utd during the olden days, (exaggerating much?) year 1999.

Team Captain Mr Gary Neville, the defender, served United since year 1992!!!

Mr Awesome!!! Too HOT for words. Everyone knows, no need explanation.

MY MAN! Mr Edwin Van der Sar! You're no.1 in my heart!!!

Paul Scholes, another midfielder, played for United since 1994. He's known to get very aggressive and hot tempered on field.

The living Legend Mr Ryan Giggs, midfielder, appeared in 799 matches, surpassing Sir Bobby Charlton(758).

The no.1 defender Rio Ferdinand famous for being tallest in the team, after Van der Sar and always shouting on pitch.

Me lovey Mr Carlos Tevez! He's everywhere when he plays! Literally everywhere! He's the striker but he's EVERYWHERE!!!

Nemanja Vidic! The defender who tends to get yellow cards. Sheesh.

Man Utd's own Korean superstar football player! Park Ji-Sung joined the team July 2008 and played straight the next day! Imagine that! That's how good he is.

The Newest player, Ferderico "Kiko" Marcheda scored winning goal for Man Utd during his debut appearance playing for the first team.

I'm too lazy to rearrange them again, So yea. These are my favourite players.
Those who are not listed, i don't favor them much! =)

Cherrio, XOXO

My theme song!

Glory glory Man united,
Glory glory Man united,
Glory glory Man united,
As the reds go marching on on on!

Just like the busby babes in days gone by,
We’ll keep the red flags flying high,
Your gonna see us all from far and wide,
Your gonna hear the masses sing with pride.

United, Man united,
We’re the boys in red and we're on our way to Wembley!

Wembley, Wembley,
We're the famous Man united and we're going to Wembley,
Wembley, Wembley,
We're the famous Man united and we're going to Wembley

In Seventy-Seven it was Docherty
Atkinson will make it Eighty-Three
And everyone will no just who we are,
They'll be singing que sera sera

United, Man united,
We’re the boys in red and we're on our way to Wembley!

Wembley, Wembley,
We're the famous Man united and we're going to Wembley,
Wembley, Wembley,
We're the famous Man united and we're going to Wembley

Glory glory Man united,
Glory glory Man united,
Glory glory Man united,
As the reds go marching on on on!

Glory glory Man united,
Glory glory Man united,
Glory glory Man united,
As the reds go marching on on on!

Glory glory Man united,
Glory glory Man united,
Glory glory Man united,
As the reds go marching on on on!

Glory glory Man United! Glory glory Man United! Glory glory Man United! And the reds go marching on on on!

Once again, it's proven. Who's the best?

manchester united

What?

Manchester United

Again who?

MANCHESTER UNITED

Say it again?

M A N C H E S T E R . U N I T E D

Of course! *big smile* 5-2? Come on! One fact everyone should know is that, Tottenham Spurs never won a match against the Red Devils since the year 1989! And we gave them a commanding lead in the first half. It's a lie to say i wasn't down. I was half emo watching it and at some point i got tired of watching and start playing the game on my phone. But when the penalty was scored by Mr Awesome, 57', I start to watch again. And it KEEPS on COMING. Keeeeeeeeps on coming! After penalty was a nice shot by Wayne Rooney, 67', the equalizer. Then Mr Awesome did a diving header, 68' (THEN HE TOOK OFF HIS SHIRT TO SHOW OFF HIS HOT BOD!!!!!!). And then it was a scramble goal by Rooney, 71', followed by another scramble goal by Dimitar Berbatov, 71' (whom earlier i thought was useless in the game). So yea. Basically that's it. LOVE MY TEAM!!!

Poor Koyot cuz he watched with us that time. He was giving me the winning clap when Darren Bent scored in the 29' and again another when Luka Modric scored in the 32'. After the 3rd goal by Mr Awesome, I was literally shouting "In your face" all the time after a goal. hehehehe.. Awwwww... but still, you know i love you Koyot. So chill!!! You have to accept Man U is the best, and that's why Berbatov moved! *grins* CHILL!!!

I'm gonna go have a good peaceful calming sleep.

Cherrio, XOXO

Know it ain't nothin to drop a couple stacks on you. Want it, you could get it my dear

I love The Boyfriend so much!!! Supposedly today was budget day, but then again, it was half price sale at Lea Center. It was announced yesterday (informed by Abg Tom). So after presentation, after resting for a while, we went out to town "browsing" through the items in SALE, with Hillie and Abg Tom. And from there it started... Shoes, Heels, Bags, Jerseys, Socks, Sneakers... I could see stars everywhere. I was going around and around finding my own stuff while the boyfriend was finding his own, and then he made a decision not to buy futsal shoes because it was not the one he wanted. So we went around and around.. and guess what!!!

MINE!!!
Adidas Superstar II K

THE BOYFRIEND'S!!!
Adidas Superstar II BSC Originals

OMG! Lovesit. haha... Well i always wanted an adidas superstar sneakers but then again, spending RM250++ for it was slow and painful, in the end, i never bought them. Thanks baby! I love you loads!

*grins with joy*

Cherrio, XOXO

Good afternoon Upper East Siders

You Know You Love ME, xoxo,
Gossip Girl

A dream is a wish your heart makes... when you're fast asleep.

I had a pretty good presentation today. Lovesit! Last night i had the weirdest dream i've ever thought i would have. But then again, now i don't remember much. It had something to do with Nelson? HA!!!!!!! told you it was weird. Something about him running around thinking about Economics and Mr Abey. Of all things to dream about. the most random person. I think at one point he was shouting for Dilhani's name. HAHAHAHAHA...

One of the group presenting just now was very entertaining. They drew a tree on the white board and it represented an organization. Fertilizer represented ABC (activity based costing). And the explanation goes on and on. It was funny. Nice one boys!

My kidney, gallbladder and back bone is really giving me problems! Pain!!! Sometimes too much to handle. But everything happens for a reason. Allah SWT is probably just trying my patience to his obstacles. I know i am not strong enough to overcome this alone, but i will try my best.

Again i am telling this until it happens, i won't stop,:

CAN'T WAIT TO GO BACK KUCHING!!!

Hehehehehe.. Last night while doing final touch on my presentation report, i was watching this movie..

I was so intrigued by the movie and made me think the sacrifice made by our ancestors, the killings and invasion of country. Why was this needed? I don't understand the purpose and reason of war. Does killing people give you the pleasure? It's just sad. Why can't we just live in peace? I think war is just bullshit.

Another movie i just can't wait to watch is..



Baby Love is gonna buy me the dvd today! Thanks baby! Hehehe.. but i'm afraid after watching this, i might want to shop also. This is hard.. I'll restrain myself somehow. =)

Cherrio, XOXO

Wishing upon the shooting star..

WISH ME LUCK ON MY PRESENTATION TODAY!!! NEED IT SO MUCH.

THANKS LOVE!

CHERRIO, XOXO

p/s : ...

Before the previous posts becomes another one like what happen to a friend of mine, Hillie, i just wanna say the only people mention here is Raula, my cats and my cousins. I'm not finger pointing anyone. Don't take it the wrong way.

Girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.. be very careful nowadays.

*winks*

you know you love me, xoxo, gossip girl..

Was watching the latest Gossip Girl episode, Remains of the J, and somehow i could relate to it but not much. NO! I could not relate to having trust funds, platinum credit cards, private jet vacation, limousine to school, sophisticated soiree or the designer brands. It's just too much to ask for in my lifetime right now.

But the drama, and the twist, who doesn't?

True?

With all the pees and poes happening these few days, i am DONE! I'm just sick of defending myself to other people who matters to me but heck, i don't mean shit in their life. SAD? I know. Think whatever you want, act however you want, i will not care anymore because i can't keep satisfying your wants. I just want this to be over, and done.

Back to Gossip Girl,



I reaaaaaaaaaaaally like Poppy Lifton! I like her character. I was saying to Baby Love how i wish i had a friend like that, and i snapped. Wait, I do have a friend like that. You know who i'm talking about biatch! She's like the good friend who's always there but not always visible. Get what i mean? Haha.. i'm thinking too much. And yes, i am really really relieved that i know where i stand now.

I can't want to go back home. First time i've been this excited to go back home since the day i left home. I can't wait to see my babies, can't wait for sushi, mi kolok, laksa, mi jawa, satay simpang, my cousins, my friends. Too much to justify.

Honestly, i don't like judging people, and guess what, i didn't give u the privilage to judge me. You think you know everything, well, think again.

Cherrio, XOXO

Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

I don't really have anything to say just that...

Happy 19th Month-sary Baby!!!

Time does fly fast and after all the hustles, the Baby Love and Yours Truly are still together. Perfect. I heart you baby!

For the past few days i wasn't feeling well. Had some complications in my body. So yea. Effing screwed up everything. I was planning to go back Kuching on this 2nd May, but noooooooooooooooooo.. my mid-term exam just HAD to be on that day! ARGHHHHHHHHHH... Clash! Now i cannot support the Crocs playing Kuching Sevens. Just great. I had everything planned out well already. Have Ola pick me up at the airport, shopping, sushi, mi kolok, laksa.. but nooooooooooooo.. Oh well, studies comes first. What the heck. I'm bored now. Off to the field for rugby practise.

Cherrio, XOXO

Look at the rainbow in every star, fly like an angel heaven sent to me..

My babies! i miss you so much. The gray cat is Jega, the tri-colour is Georgie. My dad sent me this picture yesterday. I was so looking forward to seeing them all in 2 weeks time when i get back. But my cousin told me that Geogie died after been chased by some stray dog. Now i feel like shooting all the stray dogs with machine gun! I didn't get to see Georgie. Thankfully Princess is doing fine. I miss my babies.. I miss Chessie.. I miss Jega.. I miss Georgie..

Georgie didn't get the chance to sleep with me in my room. play around in my room like Chessie always does. Georgie was burried behind my house at our backyard. Rest in peace love. You know i always love you. I'm sorry i wasn't there. I'm sorry i couldn't take care of you like i did the mommy cat. I'm sorry my baby..

Rest in Peace my Georgie (2008-2009)

XOXO

It's not the first time and you know it don't you now?

I hope this will be over soon. I want it to be over. It's such a hustle and something that could have been prevented. But people make mistakes. Sometimes those mistake led to huge consequences. I don't care if people choose to not believe, but one honest voice is bigger than a crowd. I swore in front of the Qu'ran already. And i swore than if i lied, i would be dead by today. That's my promise to god. So now only God knows who is telling the truth. If a true religious person, no matter what religion they are, their Qu'ran or Bible would be the last barrier. If you ask a person who's lying, to swear on their religion, beliefs and God, they would think twice before they do. Some people just take their Gods as a puppet, and religion just by name. I know i am not as religious as other people, but i know my limit. I know Allah S.W.T. is there watching always.

Dear friends,

I do not wish for you to believe me if it makes you feel bad after, and makes you feel like you have to choose sides. I don't want you to. So you can believe whatever you want for all i know is that i am telling the truth. I am not trying to win anyone or campaigning for supporters, because i know i do not need to. My true friends will know when i would lie (with reasons) and when or what about that i would not. Plus, what a friend of mine said was true, "Ezuan knows you inside out to know that you are not lying and i don't see any reason why you would create this story". Thank you dear. Advice to girls out there, guy friends, they are nice to you when you're happy, but when they do shit to you, all you are to them are crampled up paper that they can just throw away. I can't believe i stood up for you! Some kind of friend you are.

Yours truly.

I think i have enough to say about this. Now i just want to close this case, this chapter of my life and move on!

Cherrio, XOXO

Promise i'll be kind but i won't stop until that boy is mine..

What is wrong with me? I feel like i own a feelings blog or something! I realize that most of my post lately are all emotional ones. I don't know what has happen to me. I don't know what i'm thinking. I don't know myself already. I don't know what is going on with me! I think i need someone to slap me back to reality. What the hell! Ola! I wish you were here. You're the only one who knows what's going on! I really wish you are here. OLA I NEED YOU RIGHT NOW! I feel like killing myself. I feel like i don't wanna be alive. To make it worst, it's not only for me to know, but for everyone whom i do not want them to know. Help me!

...

We are the crowd
We're cuh-coming out
Got my flash on it's true
Need that picture of you
It's so magical
We'd be so fantastic, oh

Leather and jeans
your watch glamorous
Not sure what it means
But this photo of us
It don't have a price
Ready for those flashing lights
'Cause you know that baby I-

I'm your biggest fan
I'll follow you until you love me
Papa-Paparazzi
Baby there's no other superstar
You know that I'll be your-
Papa-Paparazzi

Promise I'll be kind
But I won't stop until that boy is mine
Baby you'll be famous
Chase you down until you love me
Papa-Paparazzi

I'll be your girl backstage at your show
Velvet ropes and guitars
Yeah cause you know I'm starting between the sets
Eyeliner and cigarettes

Shadow is burnt, yellow dance and return
My lashes are dry- But the teardrops I cry
It don't have a price
Loving you is Cherry Pie
'Cause you know that baby I
I'm your biggest fan
I'll follow you until you love me
Papa-Paparazzi
Baby there's no other superstar
You know that I'll be your
Papa-Paparazzi

Promise I'll be kind
But I won't stop until that boy is mine
Baby you'll be famous
Chase you down until you love me
Papa-paparazzi

Real good, We're dancing in the studio
Stop-stopped, That shit on the radio
Don't stop, for anyone
We'll Blast it but we'll still have fun

I'm your biggest fan
I'll follow you until you love me
Papa-Paparazzi
Baby there's no other superstar
You know that I'll be your
Papa-Paparazzi

Promise I'll be kind
But I won't stop until that boy is mine
Baby you'll be famous
Chase you down until you love me
Papa-paparazzi

I'm your biggest fan, i'll follow you until you love me. Papa-paparazzi..

Baby there's no other superstar you know that i'll be your papa-paparazzi. Promise i'll be kind, but i won't stop until that boy is mine.

I FEEL AWFUL!!! I feel terrible. I feel like death is better than living. I feel so alone.

UEFA Champions League : Road to Semi Finals

I am so proud of my team. It was worth it to spend 2 hours of what should've been my bedtime to sit and support them play although it's from far far away and not from Porto Stadium. I was screaming, squeaking, shouting, getting heart attacks and protesting most of the time during the match. Imagine me being a hooligan.. can you? I totally can imagine myself as one. I'd be the one who screams and man handle other supporters who does not support the Red Devils. I am not saying that i'm the number one supporter or anything, but i'm a hardcore, die hard fan of the football club. I would jump for joy and cry for the team. It's best to say that i am in love with the team more than anything in the world.

The second match between the Red Devils and Porto FC was one match that i thought i would die somewhere in the middle. I wasn't seated on my chair properly, and it was in public. In my mind, i was in my own space where i can only hear my own voice. In my opinion and point of view of the match, i think it was useless for Patrice Evra to play the game. But still, they did not concede so perhaps he was doing his job okay. Not perfectly, but just okay. Ferdinand is, as always, the hero for doing a great job on helping Edwin Van Der Sar protect the goal. I was saying the whole time, quote myself "that's why he's my man", everytime Van Der Sar saves a goal. EVERYTIME. He's my hero. I told my friends that if Van Der Sar wasn't married, i would so marry him. HAHAHAHA.. As if he even knows i exist. Silly me. But yea, again, He's my hero.


My Hero. Heh.. I'm so pathetic sometimes. But yea. The love i have for the team is pure and unmeasurable. He did quite a few good saves during the game and it makes me proud. Funny? HAHAHAHA.. And of course, the player to score the winning goal is non other than Cristiano Ronaldo! Predictable? I know right? It wasn't even a free kick, and in my estimation, it was 34m from the goal post, he curled the shot to top left with his famous rocket shot. It was AWESOME!!!!! And it was only the 6th minute in the game! He IS awesome. And he has a HAWT SIZZLIN' bodayyyyy.. HAHAHAHA.. Hey, excuse me for being a girl. Can you deny that he's got a perfect 6 pack body? Can you??? See this! and tell me, TELL me if you think he doesn't have the HAWT BOD!


Regardless of his weird screaming facial expression, please tell me how that is not a perfect 6 pack bod? Going back to the match, Nemanja Vidic got the first yellow card, which was a bummer because i bet on John O'Shea getting the first yellow card. Sedut ended up winning RM4.50 because the bet was 50cents per person. I wanted to trash Koyot with the remainings of my drink for wanting Porto to win. I was a nervous wreck and he just had to shove it to my face saying Porto will score. STILL, who won? WHO WON?

M A N C H E S T E R U N I T E D

SEE!!! I am proud to say that i am a Man U supporter ever since i was 7 years old. During the era of David Beckham, Ruud Van Nistelrooy, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, Dwight Yorke and Andy Cole. I was such a fanatic fan back then, even my bed sheets were Manchester's Old Trafford picture.

Next match : Arsenal!

I think i had enough to say about this. Off to bed.

Cherrio, XOXO

Ever since the day you went away and left me lonely and cold, my life just hasn't been the same. Oh baby no..

When I looked into your eyes the moment that I let you go, I just broke down

Today i woke up at 9 and thought it was still early, so i cuddled back into my blankie, and told myself just another half hour. The next thing i know, Van was knocking on my door, saying that my group mates are here. SMART? Hm.. I was exhausted from the charades game played last night and sleeping at 3am. It was fun you know. The charades game thingy. I was in Godwin's group, with Fyza, Baby Love and Jamie. Against Van, Abby, Danny, Dinesh and Karibi. Jorden was the judge. It was so fun!!! We won! so yea..

Baby if I ever get the chance to be with you again I would sacrifice 'cuz the feeling that I feel within no other man would ever make me feel so right. Its nice to smile when I get your phone call at night but I'd rather have you here with me, right next to me. I miss the way you hold me tight

I cooked today as usual.. Lemon Chicken, Veggie and CornBeef.. I was so hungry from not eating the whole day. And i played rugby late afternoon. Just to jog around. I miss having Fariq, Hoe and Azfar playing touch with us. Those three guys are like masters when playing. All the seniors, who's left now is Gala.. That's about it. Well, there are Cendol, Baby Love, Koyot, Karibi. But still, it's not the same. So yea.. Miss them boys.

Okay now i feel like the post is just useless and there's nothing to write about. Hahahaha..

Until next time.

Cherrio, XOXO

Tell me how am i suppose to live without you...

I feel hopeless when i am unable to be helpful. It's killing me. I doubt that my friends know how much i love them and at times protect them. I know i'm just human like other people, unable to convince everyone to believe on just one thing. I tried so hard at times that it backfires. In the end i got the bullshits. All i can do is hold on to the people i love as long as they are willing to be with me but once they don't, they slip away. I know it's as if i'm a superhuman wannabe.. but i just do not want my friends to get hurt. My family can manage on their own because i know they can.

On the same note, i don't think my friends realize that most of what i do for them is for their own good. But yea, i'm just a 20-year-old who's voice isn't listened by many. Words that comes from me, they usually ignore. I feel so down and depressed. I always get this shit! I hate it! I wish i could be heartless and just show people a cold face and not care. BUT i can't. That's just not me. Sometimes i think i care too much about other people that they just see me as a newspaper at the side of the road. Read once and then recycled. So pathetic. Maybe that's the problem. I care too much about my friends that they take it for granted. Maybe i should just not care and let them be. Let them do wrongs on their own and when it crashes them, just look and do nothing. I wish i could do that. I hate being angry at my friends, i hate knowing they are angry at me, i hate not speaking to my friends, i hate ignoring my friends. I hate knowing my friends are jumping into a deep waterfall and soon to be drowned, but unable to prevent it. I HATE WHAT I FEEL NOW! I hate knowing that a sweet little pink bird is suffering and unable to fly. I HATE IT! Such a sweet little bird. Why on earth would people see the bird and not help it? Don't you think it's stupid? Don't you? I am somehow very angry but i just have to suck it up.

I love it when my friends know their limits, knows their boundries. I love it when i feel appreciated by them. I love it when they know i am around and think about me, about how i feel. I love it when i cry, i will always have a shoulder to cry on. I love it when i need them, they are there to comfort me. I love it when i am helpless, they come to the rescue. I love it when i am their little sister. I love it when i think of them, i cry in joy. I love it when they are always there. I love it when they include me in everything they do. I love it when they think of me as their friend they will always have. I love it when they know they're wrong, they will apologize. I love it when they know to do the right thing. I love to know that i will never loose them.

If only little pink birds can read, i want you to know that i feel your pain and i know why you can't fly. I don't feel sorry for you but i want you to heal yourself and start to fly again because i know you have the strength to. I want you to know that although i am not on the same tree with you, i am always here for you. I want you to know that i would do anything to see you fly again. I want you to know that i am on your side. I want you to know that the wound you have is not worth the pain. I want you to know that i would do anything to stop the big bird from flying away to another tree. I care for you.

To whomever it matters, you should know that i love you much more tham words can say but please, don't let me think otherwise.

Ola, thanks for always being there.

Cherrio, XOXO

Siapa sebenarnya aku padamu? Mungkin sama dengan teman lain yang bisa kau buat begitu...

WTF emo post? No not really. I just listened to this song and observed its tunes and lyrics, to be honest, it's quite nice. Not like normal malay songs which are over emotionally romantic, in other words, hopelessly emotional. Staying at lakeside and only having tv1, tv2, tv3.. gives me no choice but to follow the tv3 drama series. It's not bad but i still prefer american series.

I've been really amused lately, when i found out how to download videos from YouTube! wtf? hahahaha.. It's so cool to me, that i've been downloading the videos ever since. My magic wand helps me a lot! LOVESIT! My housemates, minus Van, must think i'm crazy or something 'cuz today i've been listening to all kinds of songs! I finally found my Gummy Bears song after so long searching for it.

About these few weeks, all i wanna do is just escape to neverlands and live peacefully with zero negativity in life. Can a person's sight be clouded with fake images? Can time be wasted for something merely everlasting? I just don't understand that how constructors build a building so tall but in the end the goal is to blow it up to pieces. Make sense to you? I do not think so. And how can a bird with little strength run over a tree and still survive. Growing a tree is not easy, it needs water, sunlight, and personal care, nuturing.. When someone tells you nothing lasts forever, you try so hard to agrue otherwise and try your very best to convey something to prove them wrong, but sometimes, it's just not meant to be that way.

I'd like to make a self reflection over here. I'm not the type of person to have enemy's, maybe just dislike a few but i don't hold grudges. After a while, whatever hatred there is in me will fade away in time. I am the furthest from being a perfect woman. All i am is a girl finding her way into the world where there is problems and obstacles to face. My life right now, was not what i pictured 4 years back when i left Kolej. What happened in that 4 years was not what i planned and far from what i want it to be but if i have to live it all over again, i'd be lying to say i do not want to change anything, but that is just how you learn. True? From mistakes. I thank God for where i am today. Having the most patient, loyal, trustworthy, honest, good looking and understanding man i've ever met in my entire life. I never thought i would find such person. I never thought i'd de-friend my buddies, i never thought i would be-friend the friends i have now, i never thought i would have Dinesh in my life.

I realize this post has too much words and i do not like it. =P

All i'm saying is that, to say that there is no happy ending at all, that's just pure bullshit. There is a happy ending for everyone, you just have to find it. For me, it's not an ending, but a happy start for my journey ahead.

Why do i feel like i've blogged about this before? Oh well, i don't care. It's my blog and hell i can write what i want to.

Cherrio, XOXO

LOVING YOU is easy cuz you're beautiful.. du du du du du... AAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaa..

LAME!!!

But yea, i heard that song this morning in the car on the way back from airport after sending Amanda. She missed her first flight and bought a new ticket on the spot. We had breakfast at Rasa Segar eating Nasi Lemak early in the morning. Back to the song, i tried so hard to reach the high note, CANNOT WEI! i sound like a rosak juxebox. hahahahaha... Well, at least i tried! With the boyfie in the car listening. Poor his ears. Then we start listening to the songs on my mp3, and i was day dreaming the whole time but the boyfie was too occupied with the song to realize it. =) Love him always.


He's my everything. Every single thing i spend on and do for him is worth it knowing that he's the best thing in my life. The 2 ikan buntal posing under the sun! hehehe.. It was taken yesterday during the Curtin Open Day. I have so many things on my mind today, i.e. now. But yea, i do not know where to start. I have a lot of pictures to post but i just couldn't be bothered to. I miss home, I miss my Dad, I mimss Raula. But i don't have the time to go back. SAD!


On Van's 24th Birthday. I got her this really hot white Santa Barbara Heels and Wan chose a white bag to go with it paid by Abby, Shannon and Amanda. She's been using the bag around and i'm happy that she loves it.

The boyfie and yours truly. And oh, btw, the necklace worn was bought earlier on by the boyfie. A cat pendant. Lovesit!

My 2 housemates, Fyza and Jamie

My 2 indian brothers. Love them so very much! Dinesh there act macho la. Kick him then he know! Later on that night i had dance practise from 1230 am till 3am. CRAZY SHIZ? I know right. So yea. I had performance the next day for the opening of the School Of Business.

Kak Deb, Serena and yours truly in Ulu costume.

CUPCAKES and YOURS TRULY!!!

A lot of things happen this weekend. Curtin Open Day i had fun. Eating lamb and throwing stuff at Abby and Dinesh. Lovesit. I'll upload more pictures up later. Now i''m going to Emart, grocery shopping with the boyfie, Abby, Tompok and Hillie.

Cherrio, XOXO